When I used to ponder over what a blog is, I used to think that it's a place that one owns and the purpose of it is to make it whatever one wants it to be. A personal space that gives one every right to write and do anything one's heart wishes to do. And it still is.
That being said, I once read a blog that discussed about the main purpose of blogging. It pissed me off when the blogger said what's the purpose of blogging if you're only going to share your daily mishaps and routines? Like do you think people are really that interested?
My counterattack to this statement is that you never know when you can be an inspiration to someone. Or indirectly helped someone in need when he or she reads your blog. Humans are mysterious beings and like many things, they work in mysterious ways. Often in ways we never understand.
The past few weeks of leisure time however has got me re-thinking about my own blog. When I first started blogging, fourteen and still in my I-know-everything phase, I did it because I was a teenage girl who seeks approval from the society and I thought I was interesting enough that people would actually care about my pathetic teenage indecisive life. This, went on for the next three years. It was horrible. If you trace back my old blog posts you will judge this soul so hard you'd click the close tab in no second. And don't even talk about all the grammar errors I made. Yet at that time I had the audacity to think I was a genius prodigy in the English Language just because I always score a tad bit higher than everybody else in exams. What a load of bull fourteen year old self.
I grew up, thank goodness, corrected what needs to be corrected and learnt from things that I can't undo. Honestly, I'm glad I went through my very stupid puberty phase cos if I didn't I would probably go through it NOW, at this age. I've seen someone gone through puberty at a later age, specifically a person by the name Britney Spears and it is not pretty. No one is going to take bullshits from you anymore and you either get kicked by someone or thrown into the dumpster cos you have too much bull so the dumpster is the only place anyone would allow you to be until you sort things out.
With growing up comes responsibilities, maturity(yeah that comes in pieces tho), and a lot of time spent on re-evaluating life and the path you're walking on. People say your 20s are your best years and it is best to use it wisely because you only have 10 of them. I didn't think much of it back then cause I was 19 and my 20s were just about to start. But entering 22 had gotten me to think back on a few things. I started to worry about the limited time I have left. I got terrified thinking that I might not do anything worthwhile in my 20s and the one thing that live to tell the tale would be this blog. It's a black and white evidence that I've wasted three years of my twenties away. And I only have Six left!
I want this blog to be a place I described my adventures. The things I see, the people I meet, the unexpected misfortunes I stumble upon (cause let's face it I'm a bad luck charm and there's no way to go around it). I want my own adventures to give me inspirations to write beautiful article pieces. Something that is actually worth reading and be spread to others who need a good read. I talk about changing my fate, sharing the world with how I see it should be, and discuss the possibilities of millions of different opinions and solutions we face in our youth with other brilliant minds scattered throughout the world because that is what the internet is originally for. To connect people when it seemed impossible back in the ages where life was simpler and clothes were prettier.
And because personally, I want it for myself. As evidence in the future that I've done some amazing things in my 20s. That why this blog is here. That's why I keep its existence. But three years have past and all that talk about wanting to write about book and movie reviews and what it taught me, about the cultures I find fascinating and how it compares to our own, about feminism and why I take my stand in it, about society's liberality and how far it should and should not have gone. All that talk and the only thing the past three years has shown me that it was just that. talk. It's all for naught.
Hell I don't even look at the morning newspaper, and my idea of checking the news in the morning is my kpop timeline on twitter. I should probably start with that first. And I expect myself to excel in job interviews with the little general knowledge I have in my brain? Yeah. I should probably drill that in my head too in case I ever want to drift away again and think life is good enough when you have a bed and an education, which honestly is nothing much these days because everybody has an education. It's a matter of how you plan to do what when your education is not going to cut it.
So here I am. Writing this because I refuse to let the years I have left proved me right. That I'm good for nothing and I've not done anything with my life accept complain about how miserable everything is and I am getting nowhere while my friends are. Let this post be a reminder of how much more I intend to achieve in my twenties. And let my blog be a reminder that I have to go out there and experience the world because there's a blog waiting for me to share my stories. That I need new stories.
