It's been a while since I've visited this place and I didn't think I'd ever again. Life has just become so chaotic, from one point to another that I just no longer have it in me to write, anything anymore. Which sucks because writing has always helped me clear my mind in the past.
I turned 30 last year, and with it, came a few life changes that I had to get used to.
A few people that I considered my closest friends and whom I thought I'd be friends with till I grow old are no longer in contact with me. Most of it was my fault I think. And in order to not hurt them any longer, I decided to leave. Maybe I was selfish for deciding to leave without even considering whether THEY want me to leave. But I'm prepared to be the bad guy if that means it's better for everyone in the future.
Despite everything, I still miss them. I still think about them constantly and I wondered how different things would be if I was healthy in mind and in spirit. I don't think I've fully moved on yet even though it's been more than a year. I guess I will though eventually. Time heals everything, right?
My job currently sucks. I have no other prospects in life. Career wise or romantically. Maybe I'll die before everything crumbles. Let's hope so right?
If I come back to this space in 5 years, it probably means I'm still alive. If not, well. Thank you for reading. Send some prayers up to me.
