Sweet Nightmares: Nineteenth's Wishlist

Well. Kalau nak ikutkan I nak Samsung Note 3 but well. That's out of the question already in the first place. I had a big birthday celebration last year. With the coming of age week and all. So this year I was thinking of taking it down a notch..

No birthday cake.
No gifts.
No wishes.
In fact no celebration at all.

I just don't feel like I want any of these this year. Suddenly the feeling of wanting a quiet peaceful birthday is all that I crave for.

I know it may sound weird. Or maybe not to those of you who's been preferring quiet birthdays. But not me. A quiet birthday is actually something very new to me. Haven't had one for such a long time.

Scratch that. The right word would be never. I've always treated all my birthdays as grand celebrations. Each one has its own significant memory that I can remember. I mean cmon. It's the day I was born. How can I not celebrate the fact that I've reached another age?

Last year was the my biggest celebration cos it was my 18th bday. It needed to be grand. I had a coming of age week just for that. And maybe I'll have another one when I turn 21 with the rest of MTAK and whatnot.

But for now. For this insignificant 19. I just wanna rest. I wanna celebrate it on my own. Go out with myself. Eat dinner with myself. And watch a movie with myself. Sooo probably, I'm not quite sure of myself either what I'm trying to say, but maybe what I want is

To celebrate my 19th bday with myself. To celebrate me because I've never celebrated for myself. Like you know. I've celebrated my birthdays for me and myself. But when have me celebrate for myself?

Man. *sounds of breaking glasses*

Of course I'd celebrate with others as well. I mean I can't just ignore them completely. But on THAT day itself. The 26th of November in 2013, i want to do whatever I want. And celebrate by myself. Other days, it doesnt matter what people wanna do to celebrate my bday anymore.

Ceeh macam bajet ade org nk celebrate bday kau ye insyirah.

Soo yeah. There's no wish list really. I mean there's a wish but there's no list considering I only have one wish. That's pretty amazing if I think back to my sixteen's wishlist. Birthday wishes from 50 people la, new camera la. Man I was a brat. But reaching nineteen. I only have one. And that is to celebrate my bday on THE day by myself. I want to be able to completely immerse myself in me. Hope that doesn't sound too narcissistic.

If there's a place I wish I could go for my bday though it would be here.