I woke up from a bad dream. No matter how bad my dreams take form I would never say it's a nightmare. Nightmares are sweet tortures. They make you suffer but there's also a distinct pleasure despite the pain you're in and that makes them no different from normal dreams.
Bad dreams on the other hand are just that. Dreams that are bad. Dreams that force you to find any possible way to wake up and escape.
Bad dreams are dreams that let you know it's a dream and there is no way you're getting out of it. Regardless of it being unreal.
For a whole five minutes I focus solely on trying to get my breathing to its normal rate again and wiped drops of sweat sticking to my forehead. Relief swept over me when I sense no movement from the body that was laying beside mine. It seems like my boyfriend wasn't affected by my sudden startled wake. It's a good thing he got back from work exhausted or he would've woken up by even the slightest sounds I make. The blanket engulfing my body suddenly felt like too much and I kicked it off of me before sitting up on the edge of the bed. It was the same bad dream again tonight and this time it got even further than usual. I don't know how much longer I can maintain control over it before ...
I took a glance at my boyfriend. A smile crept its way to my face. He looked so peaceful. So calmed. I wish I had that. Sleep was suppose to give me that.
Knowing I could no longer go back to sleep now, I got up and tiptoed across the room to the table with a jug of water and a drinking glass on it. I poured myself a drink and decided to roam the hallway instead of making unnecessary noises while I'm in the room.
The hallway was empty unsurprisingly and almost all the bedroom doors were closed. Excluding Hoseok, Jimin and and Taehyung's room. Taehyung never closes their bedroom doors. It makes it easier for him to run to Jimin and Hoseok's room when he has nightmares at night. Sometimes they teased him about it. But I have Jungkook in my room every night. I have him to hold on to whenever bad dreams have a hold too strong on me. I have him to whisper "I have you. I have you"
The hallway were full with pictures of us. I stopped at one of my favourites. It was taken the day of Namjoon's wedding and Jungkook and I were slow dancing to a song in the middle of the dance floor. We looked real small in the picture but everything in it was blurred out except for us. For that small two figures dancing on the edge. His hands were circled around my waist and his eyes held no one but mine. Our heads were joint and my eyes were closed but the smile on my lips told him everything. How I was happy that my brother's finally getting married. How it could be us next dancing with me in a white dress and him in his black tux.
The same familiar arms could be felt slithering around my waist and at a side glance I could see a whiff of black hair appearing. Jungkook let out a sigh and a breathy air tickled my neck.
"I'm sorry babe did I wake you?" I pat his head that was buried on my neck.
"I reached out for you but it was empty. Come back to bed" His voice muffled on my skin..
"In a moment Jungkook. Why don't you go ahead an-"
"It's the bad dreams again isn't it." My whole body stiffen and I knew Jungkook caught on when the arms around my waist tighten. "I have you Min. Always had. Always have. Always will"
And I couldn't help it then. Screw control.
I turned around and I clutched my body on to him as tight as I could. I wanted to get lost in his warmth, his scent, his presence. He was the only thing that has kept me sane and I'm trying as hard as I could to hold on to it. To hold on to that last piece of sanity I was given out of mercy from my demons.
Tears were flooding down my face and I didn't even try to muffled the sobs that were coming out because I knew I was long gone.
Atleast I have him. When everything's lost at least I'll still have him.
In my world.
Atleast that's how I see it. At least that's how I wished it would be.
But we live in reality now. And demons aren't merciful even in the slightest.
