Late Night Thoughts.

The night air tickles your neck and you baby hairs dance in a whimsy. And then you realize it's two in the morning and a switch in your mind is turned on, waking up the after midnight thoughts that are commonly associated with self-loathing and a more than dire need to reevaluate your self-worth. If you have any at all. 

My biological clock has been turned upside down due to recent events which is no event at all therefore allowing my brain and my inner self to believe that I can sleep and wake up whenever I want hence making after midnight as awake hours. 

I'm in a self dilemma where I don't know whether I like being awake in the middle of the night or if it's much preferable to be awake at these troubling hours. 

A Long List Of Apologies

The word sorry isn't easy to say. And yet everytime I say it to someone, I feel liberated. I feel like a burden is taken off my shoulder and now I can at least cross another name off my list.

But at times. I sometimes wonder why I keep repeating my mistakes when I myself don't like to apologize over and over again. Apologies repeated are worthless ones. Because it means you're never really sorry. You're doing it out of mere obligations.

So is that it then.

Am I doing it just because it's my obligation to do so. Just because I don't wanna rot in hell.

Is my soul so condemn that there is no turning back for me.

Either way,

I'm sorry.