"I'm 23. I just graduated. And I've been unemployed for nearly four months with no idea or clue whatsoever as to what job I need to pursue to give me the necessary experience for future needs. I read a lot of articles about 23 being a lost age for most people and I didn't realize how true those articles could be until I face that age. Right now. Right at this moment.
The age feels like an intermission between parts in movies. The exasperated sigh when we see the word intermission comes on screen cause now we have to wait for a whole 5 seconds before the movie continues but when it passes, we realize how short , insignificant those 5 seconds were. But it has to be there. It has to exist and we have to go through it to get to the next part in the movie. And right now that's what 23 feels to me. A short, insignificant intermission with the most excruciating pain.
I tried to think positively albeit it never works. But I lost out of options and I had no choice but to utilize every option there is. I know that this is all going to pass. I know that I'll be where I want to be sooner or later. But I also can't help to thinking about what if I don't? What if I get stuck at the intermission for the rest of my life and my only way out of it was to buy a new CD but life isn't like a CD. You can't buy a new life. You can't rewind what has been done. And you can't rewrite as easily either.
It's such a terrifying blank stage. A fall that you see no land to fall on. A dive you see no depths could end. A flight with no destination in sight. And there is a 50/50 chance that you will either plummet to your death or find something that will just leave you with heavy injuries everywhere.
All these years I thought I was quite independent and I was good with making my own life decisions but now I realize everything was set out for me and all I needed to do was take the spoon and put it in my mouth. There was also something prepared for me after the end t "
I wrote the above in September last year but I don't even remember writing it. I don't remember when I did it or where I was when I was writing it down. But I do remember the feeling. So very vividly. It was a feeling I never want to experience again if I can help it. I took my time reflecting myself and on my actions and I realize how much of a failure I was, and how much of a success I have been.
We all know that life has its ups and downs but no one ever really tells you the extremity of the ups and the severity of the downs. As I grow older, I start to realize the most terrifying thing isn't the challenges life presents every single day, instead it's the fact that I know how rough things will always be only this time, without the much needed mercy on an inexperienced adult. Life knows no difference. You learn life by living your life and by the time you think you've figured it all out, it bites you up the ass with a readied smirk on its face. Regardless of how ready you think you are, regardless of how prepared you think you are, you never are and you never will. And we're supposed to be okay with it. We don't really have the option not to do we? "That's life"
It's been a few months, I have a better job, I might own a car soon, and I am definitely at a better state than I was last september.
It's been a few months, I'm still very much confused about where I should go, what I should do and whether any of my choices were the right ones to make.
24. Most people at work say I'm still so young, and I for one agree and disagree. Too old to make stupid risks, but too young to not take those risks.
So tell me where to go.
I wrote the above in September last year but I don't even remember writing it. I don't remember when I did it or where I was when I was writing it down. But I do remember the feeling. So very vividly. It was a feeling I never want to experience again if I can help it. I took my time reflecting myself and on my actions and I realize how much of a failure I was, and how much of a success I have been.
We all know that life has its ups and downs but no one ever really tells you the extremity of the ups and the severity of the downs. As I grow older, I start to realize the most terrifying thing isn't the challenges life presents every single day, instead it's the fact that I know how rough things will always be only this time, without the much needed mercy on an inexperienced adult. Life knows no difference. You learn life by living your life and by the time you think you've figured it all out, it bites you up the ass with a readied smirk on its face. Regardless of how ready you think you are, regardless of how prepared you think you are, you never are and you never will. And we're supposed to be okay with it. We don't really have the option not to do we? "That's life"
It's been a few months, I have a better job, I might own a car soon, and I am definitely at a better state than I was last september.
It's been a few months, I'm still very much confused about where I should go, what I should do and whether any of my choices were the right ones to make.
24. Most people at work say I'm still so young, and I for one agree and disagree. Too old to make stupid risks, but too young to not take those risks.
So tell me where to go.
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