It's difficult. When you live among a community that does not believe mental illness is real. And it is not treated easily.
It is even harder when you have to explain it to the ones closest to you because it's a part of the treatment and see the shift in their eyes and though they said they believe you, the subtle hint of scepticism in their words and their display smiles of "Hey I believe you" are louder than all the screams you freed during you treatment sessions with the doctor.
And you can't do anything except bring your eyes to rest on the view outside the car window and hoped that they forget whatever you told them because it would be easier that way. You know they think you're exaggerating and nothing can't be fixed with a few good night rest.
Then the cycle starts again. You hide yourself. You show the fine side of you whenever you're in their presence and you pretend the medications are helping you and the illness is long gone because you know if you exhibit even the slightest sign of emotional disrupt they would judge you.
"Ugh here we go again. Attention Seeker. " "Is She even real" "She's stupid if she thinks we believe her act"
And the reassurance that they will comfort you because the treatment requires it-it was the main reason you told them, treatment that needs the support of loved ones-is gone. You knew that you won't get the support you wanted but what else could you do? It was what the doctor asked of you and you need every help you can get in getting better. Because if you don't.
You're not sure how you can play the part of staying sane anymore.
It is even harder when you have to explain it to the ones closest to you because it's a part of the treatment and see the shift in their eyes and though they said they believe you, the subtle hint of scepticism in their words and their display smiles of "Hey I believe you" are louder than all the screams you freed during you treatment sessions with the doctor.
And you can't do anything except bring your eyes to rest on the view outside the car window and hoped that they forget whatever you told them because it would be easier that way. You know they think you're exaggerating and nothing can't be fixed with a few good night rest.
Then the cycle starts again. You hide yourself. You show the fine side of you whenever you're in their presence and you pretend the medications are helping you and the illness is long gone because you know if you exhibit even the slightest sign of emotional disrupt they would judge you.
"Ugh here we go again. Attention Seeker. " "Is She even real" "She's stupid if she thinks we believe her act"
And the reassurance that they will comfort you because the treatment requires it-it was the main reason you told them, treatment that needs the support of loved ones-is gone. You knew that you won't get the support you wanted but what else could you do? It was what the doctor asked of you and you need every help you can get in getting better. Because if you don't.
You're not sure how you can play the part of staying sane anymore.
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